Today I heard the single most terrifyingly wrong, despicable, horrible thing I have ever had the misfortune to hear over a restaurant speaker. It was wrong on so many levels, and should never be or have been heard by human ears. If you should ever have the misfortune to hear this horrifying sound, my suggestion to you would be to get out and run to the underground bunker I'm sure you all have hidden in your backyard.
What I'm talking about is, of course, Eurythmics elevator music.
Yes, you read correctly Eurythmics elevator music. I was sitting in burger king today (making this yet another reason to never go there again) when as I was about to bite into my tendercrisp chicken sandwich, I heard the faint sound of elevator music.
Of course, elevator music is completely normal in this kind of setting, fast food restaurants play elevator-style music all the time. But the longer I listened, the more familiar the song started to become. By the time I was half way done with my sandwich, I have become sure I had heard that song before. A second later, I gasped, dropping a French fry after suddenly matching lyrics to the song:
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
My mother looked at me concerned and asked with the problem was. I darted my eyes, looking for another sign of the apocalypse.
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
To my complete and utter astonishment, no one was panicking. No one was rushing around towards their underground safe houses, no was proclaiming that life as we knew it was over, no one was even commenting on the lack of actual words in the song. It was completely calm. It was as if the worst thing that could possibly happen to 80's music hadn't just been happening over their heads, it was as if...nothing was a problem.
I, of course, recognized the crisis immediately and relayed it to my mother who, very calmly and as if there were not an imminent threat to society happening, proceeded to start quietly singing the words with the song.
Is is raining with you?
It most certainly was raining with me. Life as we know it has just ended, and no one has noticed. Clearly, I am more observant in these types of situations, and know when to go undercover in a crisis. Of course, the fact that I am not in an underground safe house, but in fact, am sitting here writing a slightly bizarre Blog entry when I should be packing to go camping, would seem to indicate that I am at least equally as unobservant, if not even more so than, the masses. Of course, the masses don't have a slightly insane mother who has been obsessively listing and handing out "pre-camping jobs" all day, and who has completely ignored the Eurythmics crisis, in favor of buying tiny bottles of ketchup instead of running away. Or perhaps this just isn't as big of a crisis as I had previously thought.
But seriously...Eurythmics elevator music? What?
Going camping, see you all in a week, hope it doesn't rain,