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Sunday, February 01, 2009

Stress, Insomnia, and Yu-Gi-Oh

So tomorrow I to write a huge paper for AP Lit, I have a doctor’s appointment, and rehearsal till 8:30. I also have to complete a giant Psychology packet and somehow finish reading my book for Sci-Fi as well as finish my script for Film.

Yeah, story of my life.

Anyway, it’ll get finished…somehow. I always manage it. Sort of. Kind of. Actually, there are quite a few occasions when I don’t pull it off, but I’ve never missed an AP Lit paper, so I’m sure I can finish everything else as well. I hope.

At the moment, I’m completely ignoring all of it, and watching Yu-Gi-Oh. For some reason. Really, don’t ask me why, it just happened. You know how sometimes you just suddenly have an inexplicable urge to do something really random and probably stupid? Well, that’s me. At the moment, some random person who looks about my sister’s age is staring in amazement as Yugi (or Yami, it’s pretty vague) manages to draw a really powerful card at a critical moment. Apparently that’s only something really impressive people can do. Personally, I’d chalk it up to dumb luck, but since I don’t actually believe in luck, and Yugi’s probably done some vaguely mystical Egyptian thing to make it cool, I should probably just be quiet and keep writing.

Oh great, now they’ve stolen some random other guy’s soul. Damn.

So apparently, the Superbowl was tonight, something I rather spectacularly managed not to realize since I’ve been spending most of my time in a church trying to remember 28 different colors in perfect sequential order. I’ve come to the conclusion that Tim Rice hated actors, and decided while writing the Joseph lyrics to punish them by writing that stupid color song. Don’t get me wrong, I love this play, I love the part I’m playing, and I love pretty much every song in it. But seriously? 28 colors? And they’re really weird colors like ochre and fawn. What is fawn? I thought it was a deer. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Oh, but I was talking about the Superbowl, wasn’t I? I honestly don’t have much to say about it. I don’t even remember what teams were playing. How sad is that? I know they weren’t the Patriots, which is probably I didn’t hear about it. I’m not exactly a football fan, so I only ever know when it’s on through word of mouth, and when no one’s talking about it because it’s New England and the New England team isn’t in it, I guess I don’t hear about it.

Why did I mention it then? I don’t know. I just did. It was mainly to bring up something to talk about, since I really don’t have much. My life’s in pretty much the same place it was last time I wrote, I’m just a bit calmer about it. I think. It’s hard to tell. One day I’m calm, the next day I’m a complete mess. I suppose it comes with the territory when you’re seventeen. Still, at least I’m not playing a card game with myself, like Yugi appears to be…I think. God, there really is no end to how bizarre, confusing, and stupid this show is?

So why am I still watching? God knows.

Oh, I get it. Ok, one of the Yugis is Yugi’s dark side, so he’s fighting his inner demons or something. Wow, deep. Kind of. Not really. I mean, it would be deep and thought provoking if they weren’t playing a children’s card game in the middle of a random desert somewhere in the Midwest.

But, since I’m bored, I’m going to make this thought provoking anyway. If I was forcedto fight my inner demons in some way, how would it happen? What would it be like?

Well, it definitely wouldn’t involve Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Let’s start with that.

It could involve different cards, I suppose, like Uno cards, or something. Yeah, that might cool. A really epic game of Uno. No…wait, that might get a bit boring after a while. I’ve played really, unbelievably long games of Uno that essentially lead to nothing. Not really the kind of thing you’d want when fighting your inner demons. I’d probably end up doing it mainly with words anyway, if I had to use cards, we’d abandon them after the first minute or so. If my inner demons are as ADD as I am, there’s no way we’d have the attention span for Uno.

So, I guess, a verbal duel with my own dark side would have to go something like this:

Me: What the hell?

Dark-Me: I’m your inner demons. Hello.

Me: Hello.

Dark-Me: I’m the part of you that’s sure you’re not going to get into college, thinks you suck at life, constantly compares you other people, and constantly questions everything you thought you knew about yourself.

Me: Dude, that sucks.

Dark-Me: I know, it’s a pretty annoying gig, to be honest.

Me: I would imagine.

Dark-Me: So…um, you fail. At everything. How’s it feel to know that?

Me: Well, I…er, wasn’t exactly aware of that before now.

Dark-Me: Oh, really?

Me: Yeah, I was pretty sure there were a few things I didn’t entirely suck at.

Dark-Me: Oh…well, I guess you’re right. Maybe. Sort of.

Me: Yeah…

Dark-Me: So…

Me: Can I go to rehearsal now?

Dark-Me: Oh yeah, go right ahead. I’ll just go back to living in the back of your mind, or something.

Me: Sounds good.

And that’d pretty much be it. Pretty anti-climactic if you ask me. Nothing like what happens in anime, which is probably a good thing. It must get tiring shouting all the time and invoking bizarre, over-dramatic poses. Not that I don’t do that kind of thing on a regular basis anyway, but it’s usually for more of a purpose than to announce that I’m leaving to go to the supermarket or something.

But…so, yeah. That’s pretty much what’s up with me now. I’m in a weird time right now. I’ve got this very thin veil of being ok on right now, with all that uncertainty and angst churning underneath it. I’m slowly getting better, but I think it may take a while before I’m fully ok again. I’ll let you know.

For now though, I think I’ll go to bed. I may not sleep, but at least I’ll be in bed. Remember, never agree to duel yourself in a children’s card game, and on the off-chance you do, never accidentally steal someone else’s soul. Ok? Good.

Happy Superbowl Sunday, everyone. May whatever team you’re rooting for win.