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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Life and Sexy Vampires

Life is strange.

You can think you're in one place, going about your typical routine, eating the same sandwich for lunch, going to class, coming home, just another day in the life.

And then come the vampires.

I'm still not entirely sure how it happened. I know I was in the hallway, just outside the art room...I think I was looking for my car keys...but suddenly, with no warning, my friend appeared out of nowhere to inform me that she had bought me a ticket to the midnight premiere of Twilight, and that despite the fact that I have never read the books, no virtually nothing about the books, and have no general interest in the books, that I would, in fact, be going to the premiere.

Um...yeah. Good deal.

So here I am, Thursday night, sitting at home long after everyone else has gone to bed waiting to be picked up to see a movie I know next to nothing about with a bunch of people who know pretty much everything there is to know. It should be pretty cool, I guess. Who knows? The one time I had any exposure or experience with the Twilight series was the time I accidentally ended up in Barnes and Nobles two hours before the last book came out. Yeah, that was pretty fun, trying desperately to get from one end of the store to the other in the middle of a bunch of crazed fans, none of which will tell me what's going on, why they're all dressed like vampires, and what the hell is the deal with the specialty Godiva chocolate bar with a "Twilight apple" on it. I remember coming home late that night to my mother:

"Where have you been?"

Me: "I'm sorry mom, Barnes and Nobles was full of vampires."

Mom: "What?"

Me: "Vampires."

Mom: "Vampires? Please call next time, ok?"

Me: "Yeah, mom."

So naturally, after this somewhat traumatic excursion, I'm apparently going to the oppening of the Twilight movie. Why do I always seem to end up at all the big Twilight events when I'VE NEVER EVEN READ THE FREAKING BOOK???

Seriously, here is what I know about Twilight:

1.) A random girl meets a sexy vampire after noticing that he runs fast and has cold skin.

2.) Random girl and sexy vampire fall madly in love.

3.) Sexy vampire leaves random girl and she meets sexy warewolf.

4.) Sexy werewolf and random girl fall in love.

5.) Sexy vampire returns to random girl, who ditches sexy werewolf to marry sexy vampire.

6.) Random girl and sexy vampire have highly ambiguous, non-graphic sex. Remember, it is a teen book.

...and that's about it. Needless to say, I'm in for quite a night.

God help me.

Going to the movies,



Anonymous said...

Gahahah. What did you think? Or are you going to write another entry that is a movie review?

Ophelia said...

I'm glad someone agrees with me that the Twilight series isn't all its cracked up to be.

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you. Whoever you are. Hi.