I sit alone in my room, a blank word document open and an old episode of M*A*S*H* playing in the background. I sniffle a bit and reach for a tissue, a cold making my bad mood worse. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to watch TV. I don’t want to do much of anything at this point. Know why? It’s very simple, really.
My Internet is dead.
That’s right, my Internet is completely gone. Kaput. Mutilated beyond reason by the same man that, just last night, took my laptop apart and spread the pieces all over the desk in front of me. My father.
It all started when Lazarus, my laptop, decided it would be a good idea to deny me the ability to hear. I had been watching The Girl in the Fireplace, an episode of Doctor Who with audio commentary, when circumstances dictated that I had to leave. I left it all open, sitting on my footstool to patiently await my arrival when I would un-pause the movie and resume watching the Doctor snog Madame du Pompadour while David Tennant commented. This was not to be. Of all the time and places to lose sound, this particular moment was just about the worst. Would you want to be interrupted in the middle of the snog of a lifetime? Very awkward for both me, and Madame du Pompadour I’m sure.
So naturally, my being slightly technologically challenged, I handed Lazarus over to my father, the techno God of my family. After completely disassembling it several times, apart from causing me to nearly hyperventilate with worry, he concluded “the sound card is dead, you’ll have to wait to get a new one” and then proceeded to tear out my speakers.
Now, I can live with having no sound, being connected to the world in silence is better then not being connected at all. I figured I would just steal my Dad’s computer if I really needed sound, which at the time I didn’t. I got around perfectly fine last night, needing sound only once to watch David Tennant’s episode of Ready Steady Cook on YouTube. Stole Dad’s computer perfectly. Lovely.
The next day, to quote Torchwood, everything changed.
It worked fine in the morning. It worked fine in the afternoon. In fact, it worked fine in the evening too, for a little while. Then I went upstairs to grab Dad’s computer. I turned it on, loaded it up, and doubled clicked on Internet explorer.
What? Impossible! I remember thinking, this can’t possible, the connection says it’s at 100 %, how can it possibly fail? Perhaps another try?
Ok, so Dad’s computer is having some connection issues…even thought it worked fine last night. Still, no worries, Lazarus will work, I just don’t have sound. Again, I can live without sound. So I ran upstairs, grabbed him, and turned him on. This time I try Mozilla Firefox (my Techno-God father still hasn’t switched over yet) and hoped it would be smarter then Internet Explorer.
No such luck. It was here that I started getting angry. Why is it that every time my father insists on fiddling with the computer, even though it has nothing to do with the Internet, HE KILLS THE INTERNET??? The only thing that could possibly make this worse, is if the “family” computer decides to deny me the web as well. Three guesses as to what happened next.
Mere moments before, I had used the downstairs internet to look up the number to Pizza Hut. Now, about ten minutes later, the web that had so diligently and quickly worked seconds ago, was gone.
…or something to that extent. Can’t quite remember my exact wording at that moment, but trust me, it wasn’t pleasant. I am now cut off completely from the outside world, on a Friday night, with no rehearsals, homework, or social events of any kind to distract me. What the hell am I going to do, you might ask? Well, after slamming my head against the refrigerator a few times, and maybe eating a slice of pizza, I think I’ll write this whole experience down. Maybe post it on my Blog after a while. Hm…maybe…
But for now, I think I’ll just get a class of coke, sit in that big, green chair no one ever lets me use if Dad’s home, and watch old re-runs of M*A*S*H* on the Hallmark Channel.